WHY WE NEED TO STOP ASKING, "WHAT WAS SHE WEARING?"

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I have always questioned why most people target a rape victim whenever a sexual assault happens. Whenever a girl or woman is sexually assaulted, one question sadly pops up repeatedly: "What was she wearing?" I mean, why would anyone blame her to the extent of asking what she (the victim) was wearing at the time of the rape.

A visit to the comment sections of different social media platforms and face to face conversations when there’s a rape report says a lot about the existing misconceptions about rape and other forms of sexual assault. It’s like we now live in the era of “What was she wearing?” This is one of the reasons people give for rape and it has to stop. If her type of dressing actually leads to rape as many believe, how do you explain the babies, toddlers, preteen/teen and younger girls that have experienced one form of sexual assault or another? Were they also dressed provocatively even while being strapped around their mothers backs? This explains the insignificant role that clothing has to play during a sexual assault, so stop asking this unnecessary question.

This question shifts the focus away from the person who committed the crime and puts it unfairly on the victim who sadly didn’t ask to be assaulted. It suggests that what someone wears can somehow cause or justify violence. Let’s be crystal clear: clothing is not a formal invitation or a permission to be intimate. Whether it is see-through dress, a short/mini skirt, a body hugging dress, or a low-cut top that she’s wearing, it doesn’t produce the supernatural powers that force someone to hurt another person.

It won’t hurt anyone to replace the “what was she wearing” question with these:

·         Why did he persist even after she didn’t give him a positive answer?

·         Why did he feel entitled to her body?

·         What part of ‘NO’ did he not understand?

·         Does he understand the gravity of his actions?

Let’s learn to hold the person who committed the assault responsible and not the victim irrespective of what she was wearing or doing before the assault occurred because none of these translates to consent.

It’s time to stand with every rape survivor and tackle the rapist!